When Things Don’t Line Up Perfectly, Loving from the Heart, Giving All

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My instinct is to fix it all. Can you relate?

When things aren’t right in my kids’ worlds, I want to jump in and make it right.

But over time I’ve learned that rescuing usually hurts more than it helps.

Sometimes we do need to give a hand, but many times our children are capable and we can simply guide them in their problem solving or they can problem solve themselves.

As Sissy Goff, Christian author and counselor says, “Rescuing communicates that she needs rescuing…She’s going to have a few problems along the way, and you want her to learn to think for herself and trust in her own strength when those problems arise.”

That builds confidence.

It’s okay for our kids to experience the reality of life, even though it’s tough sometimes.

We don’t always need to jump in and fix it.

Sometimes life goes great, and sometimes it doesn’t.

It’s a good thing for our kids to learn the reality that everything doesn’t always go their way while they’re under our roof.

If our kids can learn to navigate these feelings growing up, they will be more prepared for life.

If we don’t shelter our kids from problem-solving and realizing they really can do it, their worry will lessen and their confidence will grow.

They will be more prepared for the unseen, the challenges, the uncomfortable, the times when life doesn’t go great.

It’s okay for our kids to sit in the place where things don’t line up perfectly.

Let’s ask them questions about how it feels and what they can do about it.

We’ll be sparking in them a beautiful courage that will allow them to walk through life with more peace.

Or maybe there’s nothing they need to do and nothing needs to be “fixed” – they just need to vent any maybe be reminded that it will be okay and seasons don’t last forever.

At the core of all this,
among their frustrations, problems, and celebrations,
let’s share with our children that God is always there and that regardless of what happens in this world,

we can ALWAYS have hope in Jesus.

He is the constant in our lives.

The One who never changes.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33


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School decisions have been weighing on my mind lately. But this morning, my kids and I read the story about missionaries, Jim & Elisabeth Elliot – how Jim became a martyr and Elisabeth stayed to minister to the very people who took her husband from her.

Reading about how they gave all to Jesus, I’m reminded to shift my focus from self to loving the Lord and others. That this world is temporary, but that the Lord is forever. Instead of allowing our feet to be cemented in place, feeling paralyzed by our situations, let’s lift our eyes to the Lord and to eternal things, letting our main purpose each day not to be consumed with ourselves, but to follow Jesus’ words: to love the Lord and love others.

Lord, help us take our eyes off selfishness, as well as analyzing and over analyzing all that comes our way. But, instead to have our hearts and minds set on your kingdom and things that last. In Jesus’ name, amen.

“Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.” Psalm 119:36-37


 

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When the Israelites were in the wilderness, the back and forth, the dark place, the Lord did not leave them nor forsake them.

Deuteronomy 2:7 tells us that, “He has watched over your journey through this vast wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you.”

Darkness is as light to him and he can bring good out of your situation when you look to him.

Friends, if you’re in a tough place, a desert, He is there with you.

He’s the water of life and will overflow your heart and spirit with his strength and love.

Look to him and reach out to him.

He will lift you up.


 

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