Tag: beautifulheartedparenting

Indulging in the Richness of being “Face to Face”

Linsey Driskill

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As moms and dads, it is easy to hide away in work, piles of laundry, and children’s activities and tantrums, but we are not meant to walk alone. We need each other. In 1944, after hiding Jews in her home, Corrie ten Boom was sentenced to prison camps and solitary confinement. After a month, she was finally allowed to leave her cell for a shower. Simply seeing other women’s faces filled her soul and she wrote in her inspirational book, “The Hiding Place”, “How rich is anyone who can simply see human faces! The shower too was glorious: warm clean water over my festering skin, streams of water through my matted hair.”

“How rich is anyone who can simply see human faces!” We need each other. If you are connected, great, but if not, reach out to others and create relationships. Make the time. With whom can you be transparent and open? Who encourages you? Find that person, and make the time to be “face to face” or “phone to phone” if s/he lives far from you. My best friend lives 16 hours away from me in Pensacola, but we do our best to talk and pray together weekly. We need each other.

More often, let’s turn technology that distracts off and turn connection on. If some of those closest to you live far away, let’s benefit from technology by FaceTiming or picking up the phone to connect. But when we are with our friends, spouses, and children, let’s talk face to face, and be interested to learn about those sitting right across from us.

Corrie ten Boom was in solitary confinement and not allowed to speak, but we have the daily gift of being able to speak with each other. Let’s heed her words and indulge in the freedom and richness of being “face to face”. Share this with a friend to remind them of this great gift we have at our fingertips.

“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’.” Jesus

Linsey Driskill

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Children crave clarity, not ambiguity, yet many times I have caved in and changed my “no” to “yes” or the other way around. When I do this, confusion sets in their minds, and they drive me crazy asking over and over if I will change my answer.

If our “Yes” remains “Yes,” and our “No,” “No,” our children are far more likely to take us at our word. In turn, they will learn to better accept others’ answers, and have boundaries themselves. All is not black and white and sometimes we will need to change our minds, but in Jesus’ words, we can strive to “simply let our ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and our ‘No,’ ‘No.’”

This Thanksgiving: So not what we Thought

Linsey Driskill

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As you know, everything doesn’t always turn out how we think it will. Tuesday, we began our ten-hour drive to meet our family in North Georgia. Our kids’ giggles filled the car in anticipation of seeing their cousins. At 9pm, we arrived to the hotel at the halfway point. But that darn stomach bug hit, and my hubbie was out of commission. The next morning after about an hour of sleep, and with Christian still very sick, we decided to drive back to Virginia so it wouldn’t spread to the rest of the family. By the grace of God, Christian sat in the passenger seat with a clinched jaw as I drove us home. Our kids’ giggles deflated in an instant.

But kids are so resilient and something remarkable happened. I waited for complaints and pity parties, but instead, along with some tears shed, our kids showed far more concern for their daddy. They put him above all else, and that brought joy to my heart. I wonder how much joy it brought to the Lord to see his little ones choose compassion over focusing on themselves. I love the Lord’s words. I love when he tells us that his will for us is to “give thanks always.” Those words change us when we take them into our minds and hearts, and they changed my kids’ attitudes that day.

Yes, it stunk that we didn’t get that family time we planned over a year ago. That Christian was sick and felt terrible. That I was in charge of everything. That I spent two days packing and unpacking. That our Thanksgiving food was from the Wegman’s buffet (although better than Chevy Chase’s turkey! Ha!). And that just the four of us gathered around the table to eat. When it was time for the tradition of giving thanks, we walked upstairs and stood in the doorway while my husband lay in bed. Each of us said what we were thankful for- there was a lot of love in that room. My mind can easily wander to that pity party, and it did, but I caught myself. I reflected on how thankful I am to have my three kids and my husband. I am thankful we have food and a home. I am thankful we know Jesus.

I am reading “The Hiding Place” and am in awe of Corrie Ten Boom’s bravery in saving so many Jews during the Holocaust. I think of the angst they must have felt as bombs exploded overhead and soldiers marched the streets. My own grandfather was Jewish, and it pains my heart to think of that hatred. He was a wonderful man in many ways. Stubborn and wonderful. Once we got home from our “road trip,” we read the story of Paul praising God in prison, and I am in awe of his strength while in chains. I think of my courageous and dear friend, Amy, who is fighting cancer, and the physical pain she feels so often- I am inspired by her faith through choosing prayer, thankfulness, and humor. I think of the hardships my dad faced as a child with his mom passing away at 49-years-old and the instability that came from her being married seven times, yet when he speaks of her, he glows. I think of all you parents who are raising kids on your own and how you are always the ones who do. everything. You are brave and strong, and you are not alone.

And my Thanksgiving didn’t quite turn out how I wanted it to? I am grateful. There is so much to be grateful for. What’s your thing that didn’t turn out how you wanted it to? How can you turn from bitterness to gratefulness? Everything doesn’t always turn out how we think it will. But, every day, every moment, we can choose faith, gratitude, Jesus.

Teaching Our Children to Choose Thankfulness

Linsey Driskill

2TurkeyHow can we encourage our kids to have a thankful spirit instead of a complaining one? We’ve all heard it: “I don’t like this food!”, “It’s not fair!”, “I don’t’ want to clean my room!” Let’s teach our children Philippians 2:14 so they know that they shine like stars when they don’t complain.

And, we need to ask ourselves, How are we doing in this area? In front of our kids, are we complaining or celebrating? When our children grumble, how do we respond? Do we cover it with a bandaid hoping they will stop, or do we not accept that kind of attitude, and try to change an ugly habit of complaining into a grateful one of giving thanks?

Four ways to encourage our children to shift from complaining to thankfulness are:

1) Memorize Philippians 2:14 together: “Do everything without complaining or arguing…so that you shine like stars.”

2) Talk about scenarios and ask if A or B is a thankful attitude. For example, “A little girl is given a bowl of cereal she doesn’t like. Which reaction is making her shine like a star: A) I don’t like this cereal- ewe, gross! (if you are extra dramatic, many giggles will follow) or B) This isn’t my favorite, but thank you for my food, mommy.” Another example is “A boy is asked to clean up his room. Which one shows thankfulness: A) Sure. I’m glad I have a room to clean up. B) Ugh! Do I have to!? I only want to play. It’s all about me!” It might seem silly, but sharing relatable scenarios, can be very helpful in teaching our kids new ways to respond. My children love this activity and also enjoy creating their own examples.

3) When our children are complaining about being tired of walking, we can share how wonderful it is that we have legs to use. We can shift our focus to kids who don’t have the gift of walking, and we can pray for those kids. I think it’s important to be delicate because we don’t want our children to be overwhelmed, but when we correct small complaints, more of their thoughts are focused on gratitude.

4) A fun activity to fill their mind with thankfulness is to draw a turkey and cut out feathers to glue on the turkey. Have them write (or draw pictures of) what they’re thankful for on each feather. Or, they can cut out a star, and write or draw what they’re thankful for on each point of the star.

I’ve shared with my kids that they have a choice of seeing the glass half-full or half-empty. We can focus on what we don’t have (the empty part of the glass), or we can think about all we do have (the full part of the glass) and be grateful. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us that God’s will for us is to be thankful at all times, so let’s bask in the life-giving choice of thankfulness! We have this choice every day; every moment.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

“Roly Polies, Sticks, and Mud: Finding Freedom in Simplicity”

Linsey Driskill

pexels-photo-85599Are our houses overflowing with toys?

What are we teaching our kids about where to find contentment?

How can we encourage simplicity with our kids so they don’t get wrapped up in “things” – things that don’t satisfy?

We’ve all seen it: once they get that toy they’ve always wanted, it eventually loses it’s shine and they’re on to something else. Even though the best and brightest toys might attract our kids attention at first, most of the time kids have more fun playing with boxes, roly polies, sticks, and mud anyway.

I want my kids to be kids and enjoy life, and it is fun when they get a toy they’ve always wanted – there’s nothing wrong with that – I just want them to be content with what they have, use their creativity with simple things, be open-hearted to give, and be mindful of where their greatest joy lies.

My hope is that as I consistently teach them that loving God and others matters most, their hearts will yearn for greater things over temporal things.

Five practical ways to reinforce simplicity:

  1. Have THEM pick out some of their toys to give to a local shelter so they can learn to keep their hands open.
  2. Go together to buy crafts or toys for children staying at the hospital and bring them there together. When children give to others, their focus is taken off of themselves.
  3. Not giving our kids every single toy they ask for also reminds them that the world does not solely revolve around them – a hard, but valuable lesson to learn early on. They will learn it someday, so I’d rather my kids learn it from me. Our children will then find ways to enjoy what they already have and their creativity will thrive.
  4. The Rhyme Bible has an impactful story to read to our kids about “the rich fool” from Luke 12 who wanted “more, more, more,” but was never satisfied. In that story, Jesus reminds us that, “Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions” (Luke 12:15). I often remind my kids that more, more, more won’t make you happy, but Jesus, friends and family do. They know this saying by heart, and it has taken root in their heart and soul.
  5. Celebrate those moments when our kids choose to give something away on their own, letting them know that they are loving as Jesus tells us to, so they are more likely to do it again.

When we follow some of these practical ideas, our kids will begin experiencing the freedom that comes with simplicity.

Previously published by Church.org.