Not Caring What Others Think & Independence

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Something my dad drilled into me growing up was to not care what other people think.

My dad’s mother was married 7 times and died at 49 years old. He met his “real” dad when he was 25 years old.

My dad has had every reason to care deeply what others think of him – to find his security in others’ confidence in him. But, he doesn’t.

He’s beat the odds and has been married to my loving mother for 47 years.

He was, and is, a trailblazer.

He simply doesn’t care what people think. I’ve always loved that about him.

Sometimes it makes my mom mad, like when they were first married and he served salad to the guests with his hands (eeks!), and my mom had to run to get serving forks.

But, many times it’s what draws her to him.

I’m grateful that when I was a little girl he instilled in me to not care what others think. That same quality is one of the things that drew me to my husband thirteen years ago.

I’m not talking about hearing and gaining wisdom from others. I’m talking about caring too much what others think and being swayed by them in an unhealthy way.

Do I struggle with this at times? Yes. I think we all do to a degree, but I care far less what others think than I otherwise would have.

We all have the chance to instill these freeing truths into our kids’ hearts.

I want my children to care mostly about what God thinks. And, I want them to care what they think of themselves.

I don’t want them to care about trends.
I don’t want them to care about what course culture takes.
I want them to follow their deep convictions and what makes them come alive.

Let’s remind our children over and over again that true life and joy are found in Jesus.

That the here and now is temporary, but that the Lord and the Eternal lasts.

That we DO NOT have to jump on the bandwagon.

That we can run freely with the Lord – the life-giving way – by not loving the opinions of others, but loving the Lord with all our heart, mind, and soul, and loving others.

This verse is intense, but so good. It makes me want to check myself: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2


fullsizeoutput_8da9My 8-year-old daughter did NOT want to keep her hair like this.

She told me she loved it, but didn’t normally wear it this way and “What will the other kids think?” she asked. “They’re going to tease me.” So, she took it down.

After school, my husband and I talked more with her about the freedom in not caring what people think, but caring mostly about what the Lord thinks of her.

I told her that, “If the ‘strong-personality girl’ in your class teases you about your hair, WHO CARES? Tell her you like it and walk away.

But this really isn’t about hair at all.

It’s about telling our kids not to make decisions based on what the world thinks, so they will be more prepared to walk away from the crowd when that crowd is up to no good.
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Jesus’ words in Matthew 10:14 are some of the most powerful words we can share with our kids: “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave…and shake the dust off your feet.”

Jesus calls us to pray them (MT 5), but he also says to shake the dust off your feet and leave if they don’t welcome you. While the verse is talking about leaving if someone won’t listen to your words about Jesus, I think we can relate it to everyday life.
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I want my kids to care mostly about following Jesus and not others’ opinions.

I want them to be concerned with pleasing the Lord and not jumping on the bandwagon.

When they mess up, I want them to be refreshed by the forgiveness Jesus came to give us.

When my kids feel weak, I want them to call out to Jesus.

I want my kids to choose Jesus, not just because it’s the right thing to do, but because they love Him.
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The next day, my daughter did wear her hair “the new way” and she loved it. The following day, she wore her hair another new way.

This small choice was empowering. She’s seeing bit by bit how to not let others define her, but to look to the Lord for her confidence.
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Jesus, would you move our kids’ hearts in this way. We pray the Holy Spirit would strengthen them to care more about what you think, Lord, than what others think. Give our kids strength, joy, and confidence to let go of the opinions of others and to seek you first, Jesus. Thank you, Lord. We love you. In Jesus’ name, amen.


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Independence

When our little ones act “needy”, isn’t It easy to think we need to push them to independence?

When an American missionary in Papa New Guinea said she was trying to make her kids more independent of her, an indigenous Ipili woman gave her profound, simple wisdom.

At a certain point, it is healthy for our kids to be more independent. But in those early years, instead of pushing them to independence too early, hold them close so they will be more secure and so one day can sprout their wings and fly.

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“As soon as possible, you should focus on the ‘whys’ of what you’re doing.

Not ‘Don’t call your sister stupid. That’s a sin,’ but ‘Don’t call your sister stupid. That hurts her feelings. Do you like it when someone calls you names?’

The latter is more relational.

When Jesus commanded us to love others as ourselves…he was teaching about the deep connection of empathy. Teach your children that their behavior affects others.” – Dr. Cloud & Townsend, “Raising Great Kids”
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Jesus’ approach was all about getting to the heart.

When our kids understand how their behavior affects others, they will grow in empathy and love.

“Love one another deeply, from the heart.” 1 Peter 1:22

 


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When our kids are left out
and our hearts ache for them,

Lord, encourage and comfort them.
Surround them with so much love.

Remind us that you are with them and
that our kids are resilient.

Surround them with friends and
give them strength to be leaders.

When our kids are the ones surrounds by friends, Lord,

help them be compassionate,
to reach out,
to care,
to make a difference.

Help them care more about what you think, Lord, than what the world thinks.

We pray they would see the ugliness of leaving people out and the beauty of bringing people in.

Help them be difference makers for you, and

fill them with

your confidence

Your presence

Your peace

Your joy

You.

We pray our kids would look to you for true joy and
have big hearts to want to love you and love others. In Jesus’ name, amen.


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Isn’t it so easy to compare? We all do it.

But reading God’s Word and praying help dissolve jealousy, and build peace & gratefulness in our hearts instead – where true life is found.

At the end of the day, it’s a choice.

Let’s choose God’s way of selflessness and loving one another well by releasing envy and choosing to celebrate one another and the gifts God has given us. ❤️

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:30

Valentine’s Idea, Book/Devotional Recommendations, Washing the Dish ❤️

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! I’m grateful for you!

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My kids love this – write what you love about each of your kids on separate tiny scraps of paper. Then, roll each one up and squeeze them into a balloon for each child (or put one note in each balloon so each child has several balloons).

Then, blow them up, write their names on the balloons and tape them to your kids’ bedroom doors. On Valentine’s Day, they pop the balloons and read what you wrote. Although, they might want to play with the balloons for a bit before popping them!

What are some fun things you’ve done for your kiddos on Valentine’s Day? 😊❤️

 


 

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My kids loved the top two devotionals and the bottom four have made a great difference in my parenting & faith. I’d love to hear abt recommendations you have. Here are the links to these:

Wee Believers “Love Journal” (they’re out of the kindness one): https://www.amazon.com/dp/1944689028/ref=dp_cerb_3

Indescribable: https://www.christianbook.com/indescribable-louie…/…/086101…

Wild things: https://www.christianbook.com/…/st…/9781414322278/pd/322278…

Raising Girls: https://www.christianbook.com/raising-girls-melis…/…/272891…

(The winner of this book Giveaway was Stephanie K. – Congrats! You can get he book right now for $5 at the link I shared above. Enjoy!)

Love Does: https://www.christianbook.com/…/bo…/9781400203758/pd/203751…

Raising Great Kids: https://www.christianbook.com/…/hen…/9780310235491/pd/35499…

Happy reading! 😊And, share with other parents who might be interested.

For more on Faith & Parenting, join me at LinseyDriskill.com.


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This quote by Mother Teresa is both inspiring and challenging to me.

It transforms the way I look at serving and why I do it. I don’t think any of us want our children to help someone because they have to, but rather because they see a need and want to meet it.

How do we teach our kids to do this? I think it starts with us, as they mimic just about all we do. How does it change our day when we don’t grudgingly do daily tasks, but do them out of love for our family and for Jesus?

If we take a moment at a time to pray and shift our perspective, maybe it will change our outlook and rub off on our kiddos.

Wouldn’t that be awesome. ❤️

Giveaway!, Enjoying Our Kids, & When We Don’t Understand Everything

To enter giveaway, comment below and like this post. Extra entries if you share this post. (: Sissy Goff is a Christian counselor and shares so much wisdom about raising girls in her book.

(Giveaway ends Friday, February 7th at 9am. Winner is picked at random. You must live in the continental United States to enter giveaway.)

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Let’s take time to enjoy our kids today – just for who they are. To take joy in them. ❤️

If they’re driving us crazy, to take a break and breathe. To ask the Lord to help us delight in them as He delights in us.

We can all find faults in our kids when we focus on that, just as anyone can find faults in us when they focus on them.

Today, let’s try to focus on what we enjoy about our kids.

A day at a time.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t instill boundaries and consequences. I’m a big believer in having those set up and doing our best to be consistent and following through, but

I also believe that our kids will respond far better when they know we enjoy them.

Lord, help us simply enjoy our kids. Thank you so much for each of them. Help us remember we’re not promised tomorrow so we can relish in the gifts you’ve given us today. In Jesus’ name, amen.


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When Our kids Make a Bad Choice, Crumbs, & a Prayer for Our Kids

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When I was cleaning up, I wondered how old my kiddos will be when their crumbs won’t cover the table and floor.

I can get so frustrated with the messes, but as I vacuumed, it hit me that if I had the spotless table and floors, it would mean I wasn’t gathering around the table with my kids.

Because this is the thing – those crumbs mean I have a house full of kids, laughter, noise, chaos, arguing, and joy.

I’ll take that any day over spotless “perfection”.

I sure am grateful for the messes because it means I have this family I love.

The why behind all we do reminds me of this quote by Mother Teresa:

“Wash the plate not because it’s dirty nor because you’re told to wash it, but because you love the person who will use it next.” Mother Teresa

Even cleaning up the crumbs is a way to love those closest to us. ❤️

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18


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