After giving my daughter a consequence the other day, along with a few minutes to settle down, I made sure to continue speaking to her in a loving way.
I had to rise above my frustration and show my daughter that her actions and response DIDN’T MOVE ME – they didn’t change how I felt about her.
Even though my daughter knew the consequence stood, her defenses lowered when she saw my consistent loving attitude toward her. She went from saying this was “the worst day” to feeling secure enough to move forward pretty quickly. We ended up having an awesome hike twenty minutes after the episode and she said, “Mommy, this did turn out to be the best day.”
My daughter saw that how the day went was her choice.
It definitely doesn’t always turn out like this. And, I don’t always respond this way. But, seeing the fruit from me being the ANCHOR and continuing to SPEAK LOVE into my daughter alongside the consequence, sure made me want to try and do this the next time.
When my kids can’t sleep, they love for me to tell a story to “start” their dreams. As I leave the room, I tell them to finish their dreams and that I want to hear what happens in the morning.
I just turn whatever pops into my mind that they’d like into a story (it doesn’t take much to entertain kids!). For example: “Once upon a time there were two unicorns who couldn’t fly. They walked down the road together feeling so sad. Suddenly, a tiny mouse popped out from behind a rock. He squeaked, “If you follow me, I’ll take you to the magical land that will give you wings so you can fly high into the sky.”
Then I tell them to finish the story and that I can’t wait to hear about it in the morning. I do this from time to time when they can’t sleep, are frustrated or scared, or if they simply ask me to. Sharing an imaginative story is a fun, sweet way to calm their hearts and bring them into dreamland.
Linsey Driskill 