Homecoming Days, Choosing to Praise the Lord, & Being Present

116608322_1233102877029325_4406584621221463470_oBrooklyn’s homecoming day was yesterday! If you haven’t read my story about this, its below. If you have, you can skip to content below it if you’d like. (:

My first weeks as a mother did not go at all how I had imagined. It was the most difficult time of my life.

It started on April 1, 2011. I went into labor at 29 weeks and had an emergency C-section. Our triplets were born weighing 2.5 pounds each. I was overjoyed, but it was also really difficult seeing their tiny bodies covered in so many tubes.

On April 19th, my middle daughter, Brooklyn, three weeks old and three pounds, contracted a life-threatening infection that was quickly killing her intestine. It was tough wrapping our heads around what was happening.

She was very, very sick and the doctors didn’t know if she would make it. I remember doing what I could to breathe and take the next step. Then, the phone rang.

The doctor told us Brooklyn’s intestine had perforated and that we needed to come immediately. The infection was spreading and she needed emergency surgery to try to save her.

My husband held me up as my piercing screams echoed through the hallway. It was the weakest moment of my life.

The surgeon removed the infected segment of intestine. We hoped to hear that she was getting better. Each time we spoke with the nurses, I searched, hard, for any word of improvement – anything.

But, there were none.

The surgeon told us Brooklyn was getting sicker and that if we didn’t try something, anything, she wouldn’t make it.

The nurses gave us a moment before wheeling her into the surgery room. Brooklyn was fast asleep in her incubator. My husband and I looked into the incubator at our three-pound baby girl.

Brooklyn’s courageous eyes opened for a few seconds and met ours. It was a beautiful moment branded in my heart.

I told her, “Jesus is going to heal you, Brooklyn. You are strong and you can do this. We love you.”

They wheeled her through the double doors into surgery.

During those grueling hours in the waiting room, we poured our hearts out to the Lord for our baby girl.

After surgery, we were told we had to wait to see how she would do.

After some long days, we saw glimmers of hope. Brooklyn started showing improvement and the nurses told us, “Brooklyn is a miracle baby.”

A few weeks later, my son, Bates, got the same intestinal infection. You can imagine my mama heart in that moment. I wasn’t quite sure how we were going to do it. I needed the Lord’s help so much. Thankfully, after Bates surgery, he showed improvement quickly.

They are now thriving nine year olds and I am so grateful to the Lord. I am also so thankful for all the doctors and nurses who were heroes during that time.

Yesterday was actually Brooklyn’s homecoming day (you can see her breakfast in bed waffles in the pic.!) – we celebrate those glorious days each year when we were able to bring our babies home from the NICU. Gracie’s homecoming day was June 10th and we celebrate Bates’ homecoming day, August 25th.

However, the pain we went through during that time has not left my heart. I think of those of you with a different outcome, and I hurt for you.

I think of those experiencing difficulty as I write this sentence. I don’t know what pains your heart so deeply it physically hurts when your mind wanders there. But I know Jesus meets you there when you call out to him, in whatever way you are capable of doing.

The Lord raised Jesus out of the darkest places this world has ever seen,
and he will do the same for you.

I have never felt more pain and weakness as I did during that time. When I didn’t have strength to walk, words to speak, thoughts to think, Jesus carried me.

When I was with my daughter, speechless, the Lord sang a song of praise through me.

My first weeks of motherhood were not as I had imagined. Not even close.

But I reached through the darkness and gripped Jesus’ hand, and he brought us through it.

In whatever place you’re in, reach for Jesus.

He will carry you through it.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” Jesus (Matthew 7:7-8)

Previously published by ForEveryMom.


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