More Good, Less Great & Letting Our Kids Be Where They Are

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“Letting Our Kids Be Where They Are”

Why do we push, push, push our kids to reach an invisible line we draw?

We of course want our children to thrive and do their best, but when we push them too much, what’s our end-goal? 

If we think they’re ahead or behind, what’s the standard? What’s that line we NEED to get them to?

Why?

Our kids are at the level where they are because that’s where they are.

It’s not necessarily bad or good, it just is. It might look one way to the world, but to the Lord, it just is.

Drive and determination are big to me, but I’ve also been trying to breathe easier and release that invisible line I draw.

If the frustration or tears arise in our kids, that’s a great time to take a break, a breather, and then see where they are, so we can meet them there.

Right where our kids are, instead of pushing them ahead when they’re not ready.

When we loosen our grip on that line, our kids’ determination might even improve because they’ll be at their own pace and feel more capable.

What are your deepest hopes for your kids?

What matters most?

I want my kids 

to have integrity,

to have drive,

to love learning,

to love Jesus,

to love others.

But, to be the best?

To be number one?

To always rise above the next kid?

I’m okay if that’s not the case because my goal for them is not to be “the best”. 

What I want to know is

are my children only looking out for themselves or are they considering others?

Are they reaching out to kids who are left out?

Are they serving with love?

That matters deeply to me.

The Scripture that seeps into my mind is Matthew 20:16 when Jesus says, “the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Those who choose to love and serve others really live.

Are we directing our children toward what matters? 

Toward honesty?

humility?

perseverance?

compassion?

loving Jesus?

loving others?

Because at the end of the day, we take none of the temporal things with us. 

What lasts are eternal things we’ve invested in.

Yes, instilling drive, perseverance, and diligence is important, but let’s also ask ourselves in parenting our kids, what are we prizing the highest?

If it’s to outshine the next person or to meet a particular standard just because, let’s reevaluate.

Let’s encourage our kids to work hard and do their best with a settling calm of letting them be where they are – 

enjoying them right now, in the place they’re in.

As parents, while our kids mimic so much of what we do, let’s notice what we’re seeking after most,

and pursue the things that last…

Loving Jesus,

Loving others.

That’s what I want my kids to invest in.

That’s where the kingdom of God is found. 

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I love this perspective by Emily Ley. Yes! ❤️

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Lord, no matter what’s going on, help us to find peace & joy in You. ❤️

Homecoming Days, Choosing to Praise the Lord, & Being Present

116608322_1233102877029325_4406584621221463470_oBrooklyn’s homecoming day was yesterday! If you haven’t read my story about this, its below. If you have, you can skip to content below it if you’d like. (:

My first weeks as a mother did not go at all how I had imagined. It was the most difficult time of my life.

It started on April 1, 2011. I went into labor at 29 weeks and had an emergency C-section. Our triplets were born weighing 2.5 pounds each. I was overjoyed, but it was also really difficult seeing their tiny bodies covered in so many tubes.

On April 19th, my middle daughter, Brooklyn, three weeks old and three pounds, contracted a life-threatening infection that was quickly killing her intestine. It was tough wrapping our heads around what was happening.

She was very, very sick and the doctors didn’t know if she would make it. I remember doing what I could to breathe and take the next step. Then, the phone rang.

The doctor told us Brooklyn’s intestine had perforated and that we needed to come immediately. The infection was spreading and she needed emergency surgery to try to save her.

My husband held me up as my piercing screams echoed through the hallway. It was the weakest moment of my life.

The surgeon removed the infected segment of intestine. We hoped to hear that she was getting better. Each time we spoke with the nurses, I searched, hard, for any word of improvement – anything.

But, there were none.

The surgeon told us Brooklyn was getting sicker and that if we didn’t try something, anything, she wouldn’t make it.

The nurses gave us a moment before wheeling her into the surgery room. Brooklyn was fast asleep in her incubator. My husband and I looked into the incubator at our three-pound baby girl.

Brooklyn’s courageous eyes opened for a few seconds and met ours. It was a beautiful moment branded in my heart.

I told her, “Jesus is going to heal you, Brooklyn. You are strong and you can do this. We love you.”

They wheeled her through the double doors into surgery.

During those grueling hours in the waiting room, we poured our hearts out to the Lord for our baby girl.

After surgery, we were told we had to wait to see how she would do.

After some long days, we saw glimmers of hope. Brooklyn started showing improvement and the nurses told us, “Brooklyn is a miracle baby.”

A few weeks later, my son, Bates, got the same intestinal infection. You can imagine my mama heart in that moment. I wasn’t quite sure how we were going to do it. I needed the Lord’s help so much. Thankfully, after Bates surgery, he showed improvement quickly.

They are now thriving nine year olds and I am so grateful to the Lord. I am also so thankful for all the doctors and nurses who were heroes during that time.

Yesterday was actually Brooklyn’s homecoming day (you can see her breakfast in bed waffles in the pic.!) – we celebrate those glorious days each year when we were able to bring our babies home from the NICU. Gracie’s homecoming day was June 10th and we celebrate Bates’ homecoming day, August 25th.

However, the pain we went through during that time has not left my heart. I think of those of you with a different outcome, and I hurt for you.

I think of those experiencing difficulty as I write this sentence. I don’t know what pains your heart so deeply it physically hurts when your mind wanders there. But I know Jesus meets you there when you call out to him, in whatever way you are capable of doing.

The Lord raised Jesus out of the darkest places this world has ever seen,
and he will do the same for you.

I have never felt more pain and weakness as I did during that time. When I didn’t have strength to walk, words to speak, thoughts to think, Jesus carried me.

When I was with my daughter, speechless, the Lord sang a song of praise through me.

My first weeks of motherhood were not as I had imagined. Not even close.

But I reached through the darkness and gripped Jesus’ hand, and he brought us through it.

In whatever place you’re in, reach for Jesus.

He will carry you through it.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” Jesus (Matthew 7:7-8)

Previously published by ForEveryMom.


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Being Brave, En-JOY-ing our Children, & Celebrating

 

IMG_5867My daughter was afraid to go to school after being sick for a few days. She had been gagging from all the congestion, and was afraid it would happen there. But when Wednesday rolled around, she was much better so I told her it was time to return to school. Through tears, she let me know that she. did. not. want. to. go. 

I told her that being brave doesn’t mean your not scared. It means moving forward even when you’re afraid, trusting the Lord is with you and has gone ahead of you. 

I shared about how in the book of Judges, Deborah rose up to lead her people, believing the Lord went ahead of her, even though she was probably afraid. And, the Lord delivered them.

Bravery comes from taking that step forward and trusting in the Lord, even in the face of fear.

When she came home from school, she let me know there was only one time she didn’t feel well, but that she got through it. She ended up having a great day and experienced the bravery that was within her when she trusted in the Lord.

Let’s also take that next step, stomp out fear, and let our confidence in the Lord overcome it.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8


IMG_4868En-JOY-ing our Children…

Let’s not get so distracted with To-Do lists that we miss the joy of our children.

The joy that comes with en-joy-ing them.

Even in the busy, let’s spend time “doing life” with them. Having them “help” us with our To-Do lists, “help” us make dinner, “help” us fold laundry, “help” us with some work so they have a peek into what we do.

And, let’s not forget the simple things, like making forts with our kids, crawling inside, jumping on the trampoline, playing “kick the can”, laughing, being silly, just being. Together.
❤️
“Waste some time with your kids. Those are the moments that become the best memories.” -Her View From Home.


 

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We all have a lot going on in our lives and so did God when he created the world, but he still stopped and celebrated.

He noticed the good. In Genesis 1, God would create something and then the Scriptures say five times that, “God saw it was good.”

Do you see it? Do you notice the good going on around you? In your life? In your spouse? In your children? In your friends? In you?

Take a second to notice and celebrate it.