Survey

Here’s a practical idea to help your kids with bickering less, being kind, listening well, good attitudes, or another area:

1. Create a chart for each child like the one in the picture.
2. Cut some slits on the bottom of the chart like in the picture and write a reward on each one. Ask your kids for reward ideas and share some of your ideas in the comments too.
3. 3. Pick 1 or 2 areas your children can work on (no more). Each time your child does well in that area, they get a tally (one rule – they can’t ask for one). Examples of earning tallies: when my son washed all the dishes in the sink and not just his own, when my kids worked out a conflict well, & when they listened to me the first time which shows kindness.
4. Once they earn a certain number of tallies, they get to rip a reward off and use it when they want. Our number is 15 tallies. If your kids are younger, you could do 10 tallies so they earn a reward more quickly and stay motivated. Mine earned a reward after a few days. (I also give a tally once they memorize the verse for that week.)

At times, I’m tempted to think I can earn the Lord’s approval – to think, when I “get things right”, I’m accepted and loved. But, when I fall short and mess up, there is more distance between the Lord and me.

Friends, the good news is that we are no longer held by the old testament law. Jesus, in all his perfection, radiance, love, took our place and made a way to be connected with God always.

Jesus took our imperfections upon us on the cross and rose above it all. Our sins are released, done, gone and we are fully forgiven when we believe in him.

To my daughters and son,

On our thirteenth wedding anniversary, I want you to know, there is no other person I would pick to walk through life with than your daddy. No other person I would want to marry. No other person I would want to be my best friend.

When my pastor asked your daddy why he wanted to marry me, do you know what he said?

“I want to grow old with her.”

One day, as you consider marriage, look for someone you want to grow old with and who wants to grow old with you.

And look for these qualities I have found in your dad…

Humility. He pushes attention away from himself, doesn’t seek it, and doesn’t need to be spoken about.

Loyal. Your father only has eyes for me. He makes me feel cherished, at times with words, but mostly with actions. Because he always chooses me. Through the conflicts, he chooses me. Through the joys, he chooses me. Always.

Dependable. Your daddy follows through. He does what he says he’ll do. He isn’t a man of empty words. He is a man who fulfills his words.

Integrity. Your daddy chooses the higher road time and time again, when eyes are on him and when they are not.

Compassion. When he sees a need, he quietly helps, without needing to speak about it.

Confident. Your father knows who he is. He is not swayed by others. He does not cave to the opinions or actions of others.

Funny. Your dad makes me laugh daily. From our first date to now, he fills the small and big things with humor.

Wise. He doesn’t seek after things or money to find fulfillment. He knows that time together and the Lord fulfill.

Present. Your Daddy is present and wants to spend time with us. Family is first to him.

Genuine. Your father says what he means and means what he says.

Godly. Your daddy is a man who loves the Lord. He isn’t perfect – no one is, but he seeks Jesus. He trusts Jesus. He calls out to him. Faithfully.

As you grow older and make friends and consider someone to marry, look for the qualities I have found in your daddy, and aim to be this kind of person as well.

Love,
Mom

Lord, when we’re tired and frustrated, please calm our hearts and help us love our kids well. Thank you for your awesome grace that covers all. Help us speak life & love into our kids today. In Jesus’ name, amen. ❤️

This saying came to me after reading the story in the Rhyme Bible from Luke 12 over and over to my kids when they were younger. It’s the story of “the rich fool” who wanted “more, more, more,” but was never satisfied.

Jesus reminds us in Luke 12:15 that, “Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Jesus beckons us to more than the here. To live a life of selflessness, giving, and love…”The life that is truly life.” Lord, help our kids and us live and love like that. ❤️

It’s easy to be stuck on thinking things happen or don’t happen because of what we can offer.

But, friends, one of the beautiful things about the Lord is that he doesn’t see things as the world sees. He knows us inside and out, created us, and longs to be with us, not because of how much we can offer, but simply because he loves us.

What the Lord longs for isn’t necessarily numbers, charisma, being “the best”, but rather a humble, honest heart that seeks after him.

When we think we should run from or be void of emotions and ups and downs, remember that

Jesus wept.

Jesus showed anger.

I cringed when my friend told me the story about her trip to the store.

My friend had her two young kids with her. She was holding her son and her daughter was standing up in the cart.

The cart fell on its side, so she scooped her crying daughter up, feeling overwhelmed, when another mama strolled right by her saying coldly, “And, that’s exactly why I leave my kids at home with my husband when I come to the store.”

My son and I were talking about the Pharisees in the Bible. The ones who thought they were above everyone else because of how they prayed and followed the law so closely.

He said, “I’m glad we’re not like the Pharisees.” I told him about a story Jesus shared in Luke 18.

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

[Jesus said,] “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

The Lord says he will lift up the humble. The one begging for mercy.

But, he will humble the who is prideful, thinking he’s above the rest. The one whose heart is not in what he’s doing, but just doing it for show and ritual.

The Lord wants our hearts, our humility, our brokenness.

He doesn’t want us pointing out how we’re better than the next person as this Pharisee did.

He doesn’t want us to be secure in our own righteousness.
He wants us to be secure in His righteousness.

I told my son that we all fall short and need Jesus. We all mess up. That Jesus said, “I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”(Luke 5:32)

Jesus wants us to see our need for him. If someone sees themselves as perfect and “righteous” they don’t see a need for Jesus.

But, the thing is, every single one of us humans falls short at times, and we all need Jesus desperately. If we don’t see our imperfections, then we miss seeing that we need the Lord.

The Lord saw the tax collector’s imperfections, but he also saw his humility, the man’s need for him, and his desperate prayer.

And Jesus said, he “went home justified before God.”

Lord, may we walk in humility and be quick to confess when we mess up.
When we are proud and arrogant, change our hearts to reflect humility.
Instead of pointing fingers, Lord, help us point our fingers at ourselves to see where we can change our own hearts, our own minds, our own souls, to be more like you. Oh, Lord, we need You. We love you. Would you fill our hearts and help us seek first your kingdom and righteous.
In Jesus’ name, amen. ❤️

I was reminded today to make sure I’m present with my kids because we never know when they’ll need to open up.

This afternoon, my kids were playing in the art room and I brought my laundry there to fold. Out of nowhere, one of them opened up, telling me something that had been so heavy on their heart and I didn’t know.

I didn’t know that there had been so much sadness about this, until it came through with tears and broken words.

My instinct is to fix it all. Can you relate?

When things aren’t right in my kids’ worlds, I want to jump in and make it right.

But over time I’ve learned that rescuing usually hurts more than it helps.

Sometimes we do need to give a hand, but many times our children are capable and we can simply guide them in their problem solving or they can problem solve themselves.

As Sissy Goff, Christian author and counselor says, “Rescuing communicates that she needs rescuing…She’s going to have a few problems along the way, and you want her to learn to think for herself and trust in her own strength when those problems arise.”

That builds confidence.

It’s okay for our kids to experience the reality of life, even though it’s tough sometimes.

We don’t always need to jump in and fix it.

Sometimes life goes great, and sometimes it doesn’t.

It’s a good thing for our kids to learn the reality that everything doesn’t always go their way while they’re under our roof.

If our kids can learn to navigate these feelings growing up, they will be more prepared for life.

If we don’t shelter our kids from problem-solving and realizing they really can do it, their worry will lessen and their confidence will grow.

They will be more prepared for the unseen, the challenges, the uncomfortable, the times when life doesn’t go great.

It’s okay for our kids to sit in the place where things don’t line up perfectly.

Let’s ask them questions about how it feels and what they can do about it.

We’ll be sparking in them a beautiful courage that will allow them to walk through life with more peace.

Or maybe there’s nothing they need to do and nothing needs to be “fixed” – they just need to vent any maybe be reminded that it will be okay and seasons don’t last forever.

At the core of all this,
among their frustrations, problems, and celebrations,
let’s share with our children that God is always there and that regardless of what happens in this world,

we can ALWAYS have hope in Jesus.

He is the constant in our lives.

The One who never changes.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

School decisions have been weighing on my mind lately. But this morning, my kids and I read the story about missionaries, Jim & Elisabeth Elliot – how Jim became a martyr and Elisabeth stayed to minister to the very people who took her husband from her.

Reading about how they gave all to Jesus, I’m reminded to shift my focus from self to loving the Lord and others. That this world is temporary, but that the Lord is forever. Instead of allowing our feet to be cemented in place, feeling paralyzed by our situations, let’s lift our eyes to the Lord and to eternal things, letting our main purpose each day not to be consumed with ourselves, but to follow Jesus’ words: to love the Lord and love others.

When the Israelites were in the wilderness, the back and forth, the dark place, the Lord did not leave them nor forsake them.

Deuteronomy 2:7 tells us that, “He has watched over your journey through this vast wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you.”

Darkness is as light to him and he can bring good out of your situation when you look to him.