The Problem with not Wanting to “Bother” a Grieving Friend

It can be quite easy when a close friend is grieving to say to yourself, “I don’t want to bother her.” To send flowers or drop a meal off without seeing her.

But, what if everyone does that because no one wants to bother her? Then, who is sitting with her in her grief? Who is giving her space to talk about the one she has loved for so long but lost?

To keep the person alive in her heart, it helps to talk about him.

To not feel alone.

To know people loved him dearly, and love her also.

To know that they care.

Not all people will want someone there, and I’m not saying to overstay your welcome. But, I think it can be helpful and comforting to give your friend a hug, to talk about how much you loved the person and to simply ask if they’d like you to stay or want some time alone.

She might want to be alone or she might want to talk with you or share stories or sit quietly with you for a while.

Everyone is so different, so we need to find out what they want – the best way to do that? To ask them.

It might help her to spend some time with you so she doesn’t feel alone in her grief.

Even if it’s just a few minutes – the hug of someone close to you makes you feel like you’re walking this road with friends who love you and it just makes the burden a bit lighter.

If you’re not sure if you should call or text because you don’t want to bother the person – call or text. Just telling them you love them and are thinking about them or praying for them. If they don’t want to be bothered, they won’t answer the phone.

But, they will know that someone cared so much for them because they reached out. ❤

Lord, help us love one another deeply by considering their interests. Give us the wisdom to know how to be there for those we love who are hurting so they know we are with them and that you are with them also. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2





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Mama, the mess won’t last forever









After 8 months, my dad is home!!!!!!

After 8.5 months of being in the hospital from covid, my dad is finally home!!!!!!!!! 

Being told several times from doctors over the past year that he had hours to live, and then him pulling through, makes all of this such a miracle. We have all been through so much, especially my dad, but He. Is. Home. 

To be able to facetime my dad this morning At. Their. House. with mom sitting next to him Was. Amazing. I asked him how it felt to be sitting right next to mom at home and he said, “Wonderful.”

Yesterday morning before my dad came home, his iPhone stopped working. So, once he arrived home, after all this time, and they opened the ambulance doors, the first thing he said after my brother Brett said, “Welcome home, Dad!”, was, “Brett, did you get my iPhone working?” while throwing his hands up in the air. Haha! That’s so my dad with getting right to the point. 

The second he got out of the ambulance and saw his waterfall, the trees, and his flowers, a breeze washed over his face after 8 months of being inside the hospital. He closed his eyes, took it all in, and said, “Incredible.” The simple things.

As they wheeled him by his roses and his waterfall, in typical dad fashion, he wanted to make sure the transporters saw the waterfall and liked it. (: 

Getting to come into his home, his family room, by his fireplace, with so many windows and trees, and the beauty of just being home with mom. What a gift. We’re so grateful to the Lord for bringing him home.

Please be praying for this big transition to go well, for the rest of the nurse slots to get filled (especially night nurses!), and for my dad to make a lot of progress quickly. Thank you to all of you who have been praying, continue to pray, and are walking with us. It means the world. 

This has been a tough road, and we know there are a lot of things that will be overwhelming and great and tough now too, but to have him home. There’s nothing like it. There’s no place like home.


A Love Like This

I thought I knew the love my dad and mom had for each other.

He saw her across the way, her long brown hair, her hazel eyes, her beautiful smile.

He knew he had to talk to her.So he did. After four dates, he proposed. She thought he was crazy to do it so quickly.

He proposed a second time. Again, she thought he was crazy.

After two months, my mom said to her roommate, “If Tom asks me to marry him again, I’m saying, ‘Yes.’”

He asked, and she said, “Yes!” 48 years later, they love each other like I’ve never seen.

I thought I knew the love they had for each other. But, lately I’ve seen it so much more clearly.

My dad was an avid runner, until he got covid in December. He’s been in the hospital since fighting for his life, and is one of the strongest men I know. Our hope and prayer is that he can come home soon to recover and thrive.

I’ve seen their love by how my mom has stood by his side through it all. Through. It. All.

I’ve seen their love by how my mom holds his hand day in and day out. Again and again and again.

Eight months being in the hospital, being told time and time again that he wouldn’t make it but then rebounding each time, my mom being by his side, every fiber in her being believing that he will get better.

That. Is. Love.

I thought I knew the love they had for each other.

But, I have seen the beauty of their love flourish even beyond the heights where it’s been.

Sometimes the world can tell us love looks like pleasure, the momentary, the self-satisfaction. But, it doesn’t.

Love looks like selflessness, like holding your loved ones hands through the deepest tears you’ve ever cried, through the highest heights you’ve ever experienced, through the lowest lows you’ve ever seen.

True love is commitment, devotion, loyalty.

Love is of God.

And when we love like God loves, we experience a connection that is beyond this world.

A connection my dad and mom have.

I thought I knew the love they had for each other.

But, it’s far more than I ever could have imagined.

Love like this.

May we love those right beside us with love like this.

With this kind of selfless, committed love – a love like God Himself has given us.