The Problem with not Wanting to “Bother” a Grieving Friend

It can be quite easy when a close friend is grieving to say to yourself, “I don’t want to bother her.” To send flowers or drop a meal off without seeing her.

But, what if everyone does that because no one wants to bother her? Then, who is sitting with her in her grief? Who is giving her space to talk about the one she has loved for so long but lost?

To keep the person alive in her heart, it helps to talk about him.

To not feel alone.

To know people loved him dearly, and love her also.

To know that they care.

Not all people will want someone there, and I’m not saying to overstay your welcome. But, I think it can be helpful and comforting to give your friend a hug, to talk about how much you loved the person and to simply ask if they’d like you to stay or want some time alone.

She might want to be alone or she might want to talk with you or share stories or sit quietly with you for a while.

Everyone is so different, so we need to find out what they want – the best way to do that? To ask them.

It might help her to spend some time with you so she doesn’t feel alone in her grief.

Even if it’s just a few minutes – the hug of someone close to you makes you feel like you’re walking this road with friends who love you and it just makes the burden a bit lighter.

If you’re not sure if you should call or text because you don’t want to bother the person – call or text. Just telling them you love them and are thinking about them or praying for them. If they don’t want to be bothered, they won’t answer the phone.

But, they will know that someone cared so much for them because they reached out. ❤

Lord, help us love one another deeply by considering their interests. Give us the wisdom to know how to be there for those we love who are hurting so they know we are with them and that you are with them also. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

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