My darkest time was April 19, 2011. The pain stung raw and deep.
Three weeks earlier, I was on hospital bedrest, pregnant with triplets. At 29 weeks, I went into labor and our triplets were born, weighing 2.5 pounds each. As I looked at their tiny bodies covered in tubes, I felt both overjoyed and shocked.
Three weeks later, on April 19th, the doctor told us our middle daughter, Brooklyn, had contracted a life-threatening infection that was quickly killing her intestine.
She laid there in her isolette with a swelled belly, helpless. I couldn’t touch her or hold her. Every day, I would put my hands on the isolette and sing, “I Love you, Lord,” over and over. I didn’t know what else to do.
The doctors told us to stay at the Ronald McDonald House to be closer since they didn’t know how much longer she had. I remember standing in that room, doing what I could to breathe and take the next step.
The phone rang as we stood in that barren room. The doctor said Brooklyn’s intestine had perforated. The infection was spreading and she needed surgery immediately to try to save her.
My piercing screams carried through the hallway as my husband held me up. The weakest moment of my life.
After Brooklyn had surgery to remove the infected segment of intestine, we waited.
I think about Jesus’ followers witnessing his sufferings on the cross; waiting in that empty place for the resurrection moment. I think about the emotions that must have ripped through their hearts.
We continued waiting. Waiting to see if my daughter would make it.
Each time we spoke with the nurses, I hoped for any word of improvement, but there were none.
The surgeon told us our daughter was getting sicker. If they didn’t take her into surgery again and try anything, she wouldn’t make it.
Brooklyn was fast asleep in her incubator as the nurses rolled her down the hall. They stopped before the double doors to give us a moment with her. My husband and I looked into the incubator at our three-pound, baby girl, and Brooklyn’s courageous eyes opened for a few seconds and met ours. It was a beautiful moment branded in my heart.
I told her, “Jesus is going to heal you, Brooklyn. You are strong and you can do this. We love you.”
They wheeled her through the double doors into surgery.
During those grueling hours in the waiting room, we poured our hearts out to the Lord for our baby girl.
I wonder about the tears, pain, and prayers that rose from the souls of Jesus’ disciples and family as they waited for Jesus to rise.
After a few weeks, Brooklyn started showing improvement and the nurses told us, “Brooklyn is a miracle baby.”
Brooklyn fully recovered and is now a thriving nine-year-old. A few weeks later, my son, got the same intestinal infection. But, after surgery, he recovered quickly. I am so grateful to the Lord for healing Bates and Brooklyn.
The pain we went through has not left my heart. I think of those of you with a different outcome, and I hurt for you. I think of those experiencing difficulty as I write this sentence. I don’t know what pains your heart so deeply it physically hurts when your mind wanders there. But I know Jesus meets you when you call out to him, in whatever way you are capable of doing.
Those agonizing days between Jesus’ death and resurrection were full of darkness, pain and longing, but light and hope would soon prevail. Jesus would not be defeated; He would be lifted high.
If you are in that hard, middle place waiting for your resurrection moment, it is at hand.
The Lord’s redeeming promise is waiting for you, if you reach out to him.
The Lord raised Jesus out of the darkest places this world has ever seen, and he will do the same for you.
I have never felt more pain and weakness as I did during that time.
When I didn’t have strength to walk, words to speak, thoughts to think, Jesus carried me.
When I was with my daughter, speechless, the Lord sang a song of praise through me.
I reached through the darkness and gripped Jesus’ hand, and he brought us through it.
Jesus’ followers and family mourned for a time, but they rejoiced on that third day, celebrating his resurrection.
In whatever place you’re in, reach for Jesus.
He can redeem you and set you free.
For the greatest miracle of all has happened – He has risen!
“Put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is FULL Redemption.” Psalm 130:7
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Jesus (Matthew 7:7-8)
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[Previously published by ForEveryMom.]