After the Waiting, Comes the Good News!

My darkest time was April 19, 2011. The pain stung raw and deep.

BrooklynThree weeks earlier, I was on hospital bedrest, pregnant with triplets. At 29 weeks, I went into labor and our triplets were born, weighing 2.5 pounds each. As I looked at their tiny bodies covered in tubes, I felt both overjoyed and shocked.

Three weeks later, on April 19th, the doctor told us our middle daughter, Brooklyn, had contracted a life-threatening infection that was quickly killing her intestine.

She laid there in her isolette with a swelled belly, helpless. I couldn’t touch her or hold her. Every day, I would put my hands on the isolette and sing, “I Love you, Lord,” over and over. I didn’t know what else to do.

The doctors told us to stay at the Ronald McDonald House to be closer since they didn’t know how much longer she had. I remember standing in that room, doing what I could to breathe and take the next step.

The phone rang as we stood in that barren room. The doctor said Brooklyn’s intestine had perforated. The infection was spreading and she needed surgery immediately to try to save her.

My piercing screams carried through the hallway as my husband held me up. The weakest moment of my life.

After Brooklyn had surgery to remove the infected segment of intestine, we waited.

I think about Jesus’ followers witnessing his sufferings on the cross; waiting in that empty place for the resurrection moment. I think about the emotions that must have ripped through their hearts.

We continued waiting. Waiting to see if my daughter would make it.

Each time we spoke with the nurses, I hoped for any word of improvement, but there were none.

The surgeon told us our daughter was getting sicker. If they didn’t take her into surgery again and try anything, she wouldn’t make it.

Brooklyn was fast asleep in her incubator as the nurses rolled her down the hall. They stopped before the double doors to give us a moment with her. My husband and I looked into the incubator at our three-pound, baby girl, and Brooklyn’s courageous eyes opened for a few seconds and met ours. It was a beautiful moment branded in my heart.

I told her, “Jesus is going to heal you, Brooklyn. You are strong and you can do this. We love you.”

They wheeled her through the double doors into surgery.

During those grueling hours in the waiting room, we poured our hearts out to the Lord for our baby girl.

I wonder about the tears, pain, and prayers that rose from the souls of Jesus’ disciples and family as they waited for Jesus to rise.

fullsizeoutput_912cAfter a few weeks, Brooklyn started showing improvement and the nurses told us, “Brooklyn is a miracle baby.”

Brooklyn fully recovered and is now a thriving nine-year-old. A few weeks later, my son, got the same intestinal infection. But, after surgery, he recovered quickly. I am so grateful to the Lord for healing Bates and Brooklyn.

The pain we went through has not left my heart. I think of those of you with a different outcome, and I hurt for you. I think of those experiencing difficulty as I write this sentence. I don’t know what pains your heart so deeply it physically hurts when your mind wanders there. But I know Jesus meets you when you call out to him, in whatever way you are capable of doing.

Those agonizing days between Jesus’ death and resurrection were full of darkness, pain and longing, but light and hope would soon prevail. Jesus would not be defeated; He would be lifted high.

If you are in that hard, middle place waiting for your resurrection moment, it is at hand.

The Lord’s redeeming promise is waiting for you, if you reach out to him.

The Lord raised Jesus out of the darkest places this world has ever seen, and he will do the same for you.

I have never felt more pain and weakness as I did during that time.
When I didn’t have strength to walk, words to speak, thoughts to think, Jesus carried me.
When I was with my daughter, speechless, the Lord sang a song of praise through me.

I reached through the darkness and gripped Jesus’ hand, and he brought us through it.

Jesus’ followers and family mourned for a time, but they rejoiced on that third day, celebrating his resurrection.

In whatever place you’re in, reach for Jesus.

He can redeem you and set you free.

For the greatest miracle of all has happened – He has risen!

“Put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is FULL Redemption.” Psalm 130:7

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Jesus (Matthew 7:7-8)

For more on Faith & Parenting, join me at LinseyDriskill.com

[Previously published by ForEveryMom.]

 

 

Overcoming One of my Greatest Fears in the NICU…

Miracle-Surgery-Brooklyn


by Linsey Driskill

One of my greatest fears came April 19, 2011. That gnawing anxiety enslaved my mind and I couldn’t think clearly. It directed my thoughts, holding me captive.

Three weeks earlier, I went into premature labor at 29 weeks. The doctor grabbed my shoulders tight and said, “You’re having an emergency C-section in thirty minutes.” At 7:30pm, our triplets were born, averaging 2.5 pounds each.

As I looked through the incubators at their tiny bodies covered in tubes, I was in a daze, but also in awe over our three miracles.

On April 19th, the doctor told us that our daughter, Brooklyn, had contracted a life-threatening infection that was rapidly killing her intestine. At three pounds, three weeks old, she would need surgery to remove the infected segment of intestine.

The fear that I was to blame tiptoed through my mind.

My hands pressed against the incubator windows, connecting with her in any way I could, as she lay there with a swelled belly, helpless. I sang, “I love you, Lord” over her every single day, again and again. I didn’t know what else to do.

After surgery, we desperately looked for any sign of improvement. There were none.

Later that day, I curled up in bed, tears drenching my pillow, as I ached for our child to survive. The tormenting fear that it might have been my fault whirled through my mind like a tornado: If I had rested more, maybe Brooklyn wouldn’t be going through this? What could I have done differently?

I had to redirect the fiery arrows attacking my thoughts. During one of the long drives to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, I finally did it. I deflected those arrows and shifted my thoughts from myself onto Jesus. When remnants of regrets surfaced, I repeatedly chose faith in him. Over and over again.

Two days after the surgery, the doctor told us Brooklyn’s intestine perforated and the infection was spreading through her body. Her only chance to survive was attempting one more surgery. My piercing screams echoed through the halls – the weakest moment of my life.

Brooklyn slept in her incubator as they rolled her down the hall for the second surgery. Just before reaching the double doors, her courageous eyes opened and met ours, a moment branded in my heart.

During those grueling hours in the waiting room, we continued pouring our hearts out to the Lord for our three-week-old baby girl.

Within twenty-four hours, Brooklyn showed improvement! We finally received the greatest news we have ever heard: “Brooklyn is a miracle baby.” She fully recovered and is now a thriving seven-year-old girl, and I am so grateful.

However, the pain from that time has not left my heart. I think of those of you who had a different outcome, and I hurt for you. I think of those going through hard times as I write this sentence. I don’t know what your difficult thing is –  what pains your heart so deeply it physically hurts when your mind wanders to that place.

But I know Jesus meets you there when you call out to him, in whatever way you are capable of doing.

Over time, I’ve realized that every outcome is not the result of a domino effect beginning with me.

If you are soaking in the blame for something difficult in your life, wishing you could rewrite it, rest in Jesus’ bountiful grace. As Psalm 130 says, “… put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is FULL redemption.”

If you are lost in a maze of self-blame, find comfort in the parable Jesus shared in Luke 15. A shepherd had 100 sheep. When one wandered off, he left the 99 who were well to go after the one who was not; the one who was lost; the one who was in need. He lifted that little lamb upon his shoulders and carried him home, rejoicing that he found his lost sheep.

He also rejoices in you, and will carry you when you call out to him.

The Lord raised Jesus out of the darkest places this world has ever seen and he can do the same for you. “Come to me,” Jesus says. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” MT 11:28

{Published on ForEveryMom: Mom Goes into Labor at 29-Weeks — 7 Years Later Her Story of Trial & Triumph Will Leave You Breathless}